Sometimes you hit the point where you need to learn to love again. This time around I need to love myself. I need to learn how to love how to run, how to love how my body let’s me glide over the pavement. Every step on the pavement gives me confidence in myself. I feel stronger, I breathe a little bit deeper and just know I am going to loose the weight that has plagued me for so long. Running allows me to clear my mind and really work through what’s troubling me. Some days tying up my shoes and hitting the street is the only thing that keeps me sane. When chilly days keep me inside the treadmill suffices. I have somehow gotten past how boring it can be. I honestly do not know how, looking at a wall for 90 minutes isn’t exactly thrilling.
I like to crank my music and turn up my pace. I feel like I am somebody when I run. I kind of like the hurt that comes with running. I know when I am out of breath that my job is done. Counting my steps helps me keep focused on moving. When your overweight you feel like the world gets taken away from you. People treat you like you don’t even deserve to be among them. Running takes gives me back the ownership. Every mile I run proves the world wrong. I love waking up in the morning and laying down a few miles. Mornings really do suck, but luckily I wake up pretty fast.
Picking a marathon for 2011 was no easy task. There are so many to choose from. Fear is a big factor in trying to stop me from running a marathon. Fat kids don’t run marathons, do they? I am incredibly nervous to run anything, so I’m starting small. I will focus on tomorrow’s run, 4 or 5 miles in the morning. I can break it down and suddenly it doesn’t seem so big. Being consistent and training is going to be the key for me. I don’t want to leave it to the last minute. Giving myself a whole year to build up to something I have wanted to do forever is exciting. In 2011 I will run a marathon, and prove every naysayer wrong. I will not be the fat girl forever.
Learning to love my body has given me the freedom to discover myself, and more importantly be myself. I don’t have to apologize for anything. When you see my chubby legs push past you on the road, just try and keep up.
LOVE THIS.
Also, running in the cold is so refreshing, I actually prefer it! How cold are we talking though? If you get the right gear, you can easily run with snow on the ground! I love running in the rain too, especially when you get done you feel so damn badass …
I only run on the treadmill if my schedule doesn’t allow for an outside run in the light. I start work at 6am and end work at 6:30pm on work days so during the winter months it’s dark no matter what and the treadmill it is, otherwise, I brave the weather just because I’ll enjoy it that much more and be 10 times more likely to do it, you know?
I love to run in the cold, but sometimes it is just way to cold. I should look into getting some good shoes for winter. I am always worried about slipping. Time to do a little gear shopping.