Category Archives: Project Tasteless

Jan 26 2011
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Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless; So You Want To Taste My Wontons

OMG. I can’t quite help but giggle over the anticipation of Project Tasteless being back.  I love this challenge and seeing what everyone comes up with.  This week Rachel has got us all cooking up some classic man food.  Now I am no sports genius (I really could care less) but I do enjoy anything to do with creating wonderful dishes in the kitchen.  Cooking should be considered a sport.

One of the best ways to a mans heart is through his stomach.  Short of endless sex, food works best.  When there is any kind of game on TV you just need to let the men drink beer, eat finger food and scream at the TV.  I don’t want to mess with what works.  Luckily I have no bad luck that follows me.  I am allowed to watch the game with the men, I just don’t know even the first rule of the sport and would rather be doing almost anything.  I will clean my kitchen, do my laundry, and if we go into overtime I have time to clean the bathrooms.  I do however enjoy cooking for these events.  Anything dipped in chocolate, marinated in beer and grilled is a perfect game day food.  Enter buffalo chicken. Buffalo chicken is spicy, messy and delicious.  How could anyone hate it.

Buffalo Chicken Two Ways.

Let’s start with the wings.  I love a crispy sauce soaked chicken wing.  Add a tequila shot and you may as well wife me.

Buffalo Chicken Wings

1/4 cup of butter

1/2 cup hot sauce

1 dash of ground black pepper

1 dash of garlic powder

1/2 cup all purpose flour

1 tbsp paprika

1/2 tbsp cayenne pepper

1/4 tsp salt

20 chicken wings

Heat the oven to 350 degrees

In a small bowl mix together the flour, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt. Place chicken wings in a large nonporous glass dish or bowl and sprinkle flour mixture over them until they are evenly coated. Cover dish or bowl and refrigerate for 90 minutes. Combine the butter, hot sauce, pepper and garlic powder in a small saucepan over low heat.Stir together and heat until butter is melted and mixture is well blended. Once sauce is well blended remove from heat and set aside. After 90 minutes place chicken wings on baking sheet and cook until golden brown, about 30 minutes.  Once chicken wings are browned toss in buffalo sauce and serve. ( You can fry these wings, but I choose not to. I want the men in my life to stay heart attack free)

Buffalo Chicken Wontons

1 pkg wonton wrappers

2 cups cooked shredded chicken ( I season mine with paprika)

8 oz cream cheese

1/3 cup butter

1/2 cup hot sauce

1 egg white

1/3 cup minced onion (optional)

Heat oven to 350 degrees

Heat the butter on a medium low heat until completely melted. Add the hot sauce and stir until sauce thickens a bit and looks smooth. Once smooth mix the sauce with the shredded chicken.  Lay out your wonton wrappers ( I did about 4 at a time) and place about a tsp of chicken mixture in the centre followed by about a 1/4 tsp of cream cheese (My amount varied each time. Just try to not overstuff them). Once stuffed coat edges of wonton wrapper with the egg white and fold ( I can not wrap a wonton, all of mine were wrapped like tortellini).  Bake on a rack for about 15-20 minutes until golden brown and crispy. ( This is another recipe you can fry although I found baking them made them crispier)

You will be sure to impress with these delicious snacks.  I served mine up with some blue cheese dressing and every single person had a smile on there face.  Crack out the beer, tequila and maybe a keg stand or two and you will fit in with the sports crowd no problem.

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Nov 28 2010
2 Comments
Dining In, Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless- Bangover Breakfast

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the last Project Tasteless challenge.  I am seriously saddened by this.  At the same time we are making bangover breakfast.  In order to make a bangover breakfast you must have gotten stuffed the previous night.  Nothing says love like all night sex and delicious homemade breakfast in the morning. With the abundance of cheese, bacon and potatoes left over from last night I figured I would make a frittata.  Crumble some bacon, cut some potatoes and look like Martha fucking Stewart.  It only seems appropriate that your date should know something about you other than the way you like to get it in.

“Thank You For Coming Frittata”

  • 12 large eggs
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 pepper
  • 1lb bacon
  • 1/2 cup cooked asparagus
  • 1/2 cup cooked mushrooms
  • 2 potatoes, baked and cubed

1. Cut up the potato and the asparagus and evenly layer in a glass 9 by 13 inch glass baking dish.  Cut the bacon into small pieces and begin to brown.  In a separate pan fry mushrooms until there is little liquid left.

2. Crack eggs into a medium sized bowl, being careful to avoid shell and any blood spots (totally disgusting but I ran into an awful one)

3.  Mix in your milk and whisk until well blended.

4.  Once bacon is browned, pat down the bacon to get rid of any extra grease.  Spread the bacon and cooked mushrooms over the potato mixture.

5. Mix in 3/4 of the cheese making sure to spread around evenly with the other ingredients.

6. Pour egg and milk mixture over the frittata ingredients in the baking dish. Shake the pan gently from side to side to get even egg distribution.

7.  Add remaining cheese to top of frittata, and bake for 25-35 minutes.  The frittata should be set up and have the consistency of a scrambled egg.

8. Take the frittata out of the oven and allow to firm up and cool on the counter for about 5 minutes.  Get ready to dig into this bad boy, It is sure to please.

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Nov 27 2010
5 Comments
Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless – I Am, In Fact Trying To Seduce You

We all want to bang. We all want to bang good looking, crazy free people.  In order to bag a good one you need something that sets you above everyone else.  Obviously being good looking, having money and huge tata’s never hurt.  If your lacking in any of these departments, pay attention.  Here is your “Project Tasteless” guide on “How to Get Stuffed”

“Getting Stuffed Like it’s Your Birthday”

A man likes meat.  Whether it’s something you’ve prepared or your actual meat, he will be all over it.  To bag that stud of your dreams you need to make meat, and a lot of it.  I want pork mixed with chicken, covered in pork. I always like to make something I can more or less have prepared.  When your focus is getting it in, you don’t necessarily want to be elbow deep in bread dough. Put your cutest shoes on, take the clothes off, throw on an apron and let’s get cooking.

Nothing impresses a man more than homemade bread.  This recipe is from Annie’s Eats

I made the dough for these about 2 hours before I expected anyone.  The dough rises for an hour and then you roll them into knots and cover in garlic butter.   It truly doesn’t get any better then this.

When trying to bang I like to make it as obvious as possible.  I am that guy.  Whether I am drunk at the bar or trying  to grab his ass you know what my intentions are. If I am seducing then I am trying to get stuffed.  To go along with my garlic knots, I’m making stuffed chicken and double baked potatoes.  This isn’t any normal stuffed chicken.  This is chicken stuffed with off the bone ham, mozza cheese and wrapped in bacon.  Any meat lover (aka MAN) will love this meal.  It only gets better by having a ham, bacon, and cheese stuffed potato.  I have to throw a little green onto the plate.  Fresh asparagus does the trick nicely.

“Porked Chicken”

This is glorious.

You need;

  • chicken breasts
  • 200 grams cut off the bone ham
  • 1 cup of shredded mozza and cheddar
  • half a pack of bacon (your choice as to what kind)

Preheat your oven to 350 Fahrenheit

Cut down the centre of the chicken breast, being careful not to go all the way through to the other side.  Once the centre is cut, slice two small slits horizontally left and right from the original cut. Continue to do this until all the chicken breast’s are done.  Mix your cheese and ham together in a bowl and then take a small handful and place inside each slit.  This will be messy. Once your chicken breasts are stuffed, take piece of bacon and wrap it around the outside of the chicken.  I used two pieces of bacon, you can’t be cheap when your trying to get it in.  It never works.  Place chicken breast’s in the oven until fully cooked, about 50 minutes.

“Tag Teamed Potatoes”

  • 1 1/2 cups shredded cheese ( I use mozza and cheddar)
  • 1/2 cup cooked crumbled bacon
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 2 tbsp melted butter
  • 1 minced garlic clove

Every single person on this planet likes carbs.  Cheesey bacony potatoes are no exception to the rule.  When bringing someone over for dinner, I bake the potatoes before hand.  Put your washed potatoes in the oven on 350 degrees until fork tender.  Cooking them before saves a tonne of time and you don’t end up looking like a fool trying to handle hot potatoes.  Burnt fingers are never fun. Bake two extra potatoes for the Bangover breakfast the next day.   While the potatoes are cooling place 1 1/2 cups of cheese into a bowl, add any remaining ham left over from the stuffed chicken and then finish off by adding your crumbled bacon.  Cut the potatoes into halves and scoop out the cooked flesh.  Try and leave a thin layer of potato around the skin so you have a strong enough potato shell to stuff.  Once all of the potatoes are scooped out, mash in a bowl making sure to add the sour cream and butter.  When the potatoes are smooth mix in the bacon and cheese mixture, making sure it is thoroughly blended.  Re-stuff potatoes and bake on 350 until golden brown.  Just before you serve them put a pinch of cheese on top and set the pan under the broiler until said cheese is bubbly and delicious.

While everything is in the oven, indulge in a little dirty action.  If we have learned anything from Project Tasteless it is more than OK to cook naked.  Just try and keep your ass off the stove.  That is just plain old unnecessary.  Just before the chicken comes out of the oven boil your water for your asparagus.  Cook until al dente, and toss with butter ad lemon when strained.  This meal is a surefire way to get a hot piece of ass.   Make sure to save the extra potatoes, some bacon and cheese for the next morning.  Your going to need to make something that replenishes your energy.

 

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Nov 14 2010
5 Comments
Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless- Sometimes It’s OK to Come Early

This week Rachel Wilkerson unleashed something to good for words.. well except I have the words to describe it.  Project Tasteless- Sometimes It’s Ok to Come Early. Essentially you have to make a drink themed around your favourite holiday.  I love liquor.  I’m a lush at heart and any excuse to trip it to the liquor store and get my drink on was golden.  This weekend flew by and suddenly it was Sunday morning and I had not made one cocktail.  Luckily liquor stores in my area open up at 10am so straight there I went with a list in my hand.  Let the small town talk, I’m drinking before noon. Sorry I’m Not Sorry.

Christmas is the best holiday of my year.  I love to bake. I love crunchy snow. I love to drink with friends.  I love to just drink. It isn’t christmas unless one of my family members all of us get loaded.  For this challenge I couldn’t pick just one drink. I never have just one and neither should you.  I’m promoting your intoxication for these next few weeks.

Candy Cane Swirl

This is to die for.  You can not taste the alcohol.  Even though the recipe is pretty precise this is one of those drinks your can free pour and it still tastes delicious.  Just get the ingredients in the glass and enjoy.

  • 1 oz Vodka
  • 1/2 oz Peppermint Schnapps
  • 1/2 oz Grenadine
  • 3 oz Cranberry Juice

Pour all the ingredients into a martini shaker filled with ice and shake until chilled.  Pour into a martini glass and enjoy.  I crush candy cane and rim my glass. Nothing tastes better then vodka and slightly chewy candy cane.

Chocolate Bon Bon

Sometimes you need something warm.  Usually you need something alcoholic. This combines the best of both worlds.  Feel free to add whipped topping to this drink. I like nothing to stand between me and my liquor.

  • 1 oz Grand Marnier
  • 1/2 oz white Tequila
  • Hot Chocolate to top up the glass

If your looking for tall, dark and hot this is your drink.  I rim my glass with sugar or candy cane and drink away.  The only problem is boiling water to make hot chocolate.  It’s dangerous when your loaded. Don’t let this drink fool you, half way through the night its just straight tequila mixed with hot chocolate.

Christmas Tree Shot

Every good party needs a shot, or 6.  This one is layered(!) and it just oozes spirit.  If your lucky Santa just might get you everything you asked for.

  • 1/3 oz Creme de Menthe (I use the dark green stuff)
  • 1/3 oz Grenadine
  • 1/3 oz Irish Creme ( I used Bailey’s)

I used a tall shot glass.  I started with putting a spoon and pouring the liqour so it hits the spoon and runs down one side of the glass. Pour this shot in order of ingredients and your relatives and friends will not be disappointed.  Don’t worry if your layers don’t work the first time, you’ll get the hang of it.

 

I hope your holiday’s are full of fun and great memories.  It is even better if your incorporate any ( or all) of these drinks.  Season’s Greetings Bitches.

Nov 04 2010
11 Comments
Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless – ‘Sorry You Hate Me Because I Drank To Much, Took My Pants Off And Fucked Your Ex Three Cheese Macaroni”

It’s that time of the week again for Rachel’s new cooking challenge. I am loving this weeks new theme-Project Tasteless-Girls Who Eat Their Feelings

Everyone has that night ( or 24 whole months) where you get obnoxiously crazy, try a little to hard and go to far. My love of vodka has gotten me into a lot of trouble and into a lot of sticky positions, literally. This story all starts with my three best friends, a horribly over dramatic breakup (luckily not mine), pre-gaming a 60 of vodka and one questionable decision to let the world know. I’m the kind of person who likes to eat my feelings (I’m otherwise known as a female). Your best friend just broke up with her long time boyfriend so heading out on the town to have a group pity party is the only reasonable choice right? 3 lemon drops into my night my friends ex comes up and says hello. Of course he’s at the bar, the universe couldn’t have it any other way.  Normal thing for him to do, I mean I am friends with him. We do a shot together and sit down and have a few good laughs. Apparently in my juiced glory I didn’t notice the girls I came with death glaring at me.  At this point in the night I had no intent of trying to bang him. Admittedly this is a bad friend move. Well actually a pretty shitty friend move. Associating with the very recent ex is breaking every single rule in the girl book. I didn’t care. My night continued decidedly close to him. You don’t just let tall dark and handsome walk away. I figured by this point I’m already a shitty friend so why not just go for it.  I may as well get on top of it and have some fun.  Now I am a pretty tall girl and my alcohol tolerance is pretty high.  Little did I know that I would be pealing my jeans off in the middle of the bar. Taking clothes off in inopportune places is a family problem, and my issue flared up at the wrong times. I still don’t understand why I took my pants off, maybe one day a therapy session can figure that out for me.

Lets recap;

1. I’m drunker than ever.

2. My jeans are gone; I never did find them.

3. I am all over my best friends ex boyfriend.

4. My best friend has watched it all.

I’m FUCKED.  It gets better though.  You can’t be pants less in a bar long before they kick your sorry ass out.  I get kicked out. Buddy comes with me, followed by screaming friend. At this point I don’t care. I want my pants back, and I want to bang.  My friend and I get into it about everything.  It ends up with my calling her a slew of names and her storming off down the road.  We live in a small town, its’s an advantage when your at the bar. It is also a slight disadvantage when every single person knows your business.  It just seems to go downhill from here. Buddy is upset because my friend ( his ex)  is upset.  He claims to still love her and turns all “OMG what did we do?”.  Shit. Now I’m friendless, pantsless and fuckless.   What a gong show of a night.  The only thing to do is go home and eat my feelings, I need to fill the void where my dignity used to be.

“Sorry You Hate Me Because I Drank To Much, Took My Pants Off And Fucked Your Ex Three Cheese Macaroni”

Ingredients;

  • 12 ounces of dried pasta, I use Rotini
  • 2 cups of heavy cream
  • 2.5 cups of whole milk
  • 2 tsp of all purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp black pepper ( I use more, I like things peppery)
  • 2 cups of cheddar cheese
  • 3/4 cup fresh grated mozzarella
  • 3/4 cup fresh grated parmesan
  • 4 ounces of prosciutto
  • 2 tbsps finely chopped parsley ( I don’t use this, but some people like it)

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F

Butter a 13 by 9 inch baking pan and set aside.  Cook the noodles in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender but firm to bite.  This takes about 5 minutes.  When done drain well, but do not rinse pasta.

Whisk the cream, milk, flour, salt and pepper in a large bowl until blended.  Stir in half the cheese, the prosciutto and parsley.  Add your al dente noodles to this mixture and toss to coat. Transfer the noodle mixture to the buttered baking dish. Toss the remaining cheese until blended and sprinkle on top of noodle mixture.  Bake until the sauce bubbles, the cheese is melted and the top is beginning to brown.  This takes about 20 minutes.  Once done, take out of the oven and let stand for 10 to 15 minutes giving the mixture time to set up and cool down.



This dish will blow your mind.  It is gooey, cheesy and almost better than drunk frowned upon sex.  I needed to eat my feelings after a night like this.  My friend did not talk to me for many days.  I am actually still surprised she ever let it go and forgave me.  I did end up getting it in later that night with buddy, apparently drunk girl who wants you is more tempting than screaming crying girl.  I am sure there is a special place for the type of friend I used to be.  Luckily I have learned to keep my legs in my pants and a little less vodka in my system.  It’s a good thing because eating this macaroni would surely lead to massive weight gain.

Your emotional void will be more than satisfied with this dish.

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Oct 31 2010
3 Comments
Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless- “Forge Your Pantry Pizza”

I am so excited to take part in Rachel Wilkerson’s Project Tasteless! This weeks challenge was to create a home made pizza based off the theme of your halloween costume! I love halloween. Anything to do with dressing up, having way to many drinks and getting my dance on just thrills me. I decided to dress up like a Native American this year.  A group of me and my friends actually decided to do up a “Cowboys and Indian” theme.  It was a blast.  Plans didn’t exactly go as expected for the night, but it all turned out in the end. Part of the fun of Halloween is making my own costume. I love the whole creative process behind Halloween.

My Headdress

My self portrait, you get a glimpse of my beaded poncho

So the most important part of the challenge is the cooking! Pizza is my favourite meal. I love it hot, I love it cold.   I mix it up and add so many different toppings to it. I love a chewy crust and a gooey cheese topping.  I was stumped by what to make for this contest.  How do you make a pizza theme around “Cowboys and Indians”?  Heres what I came up with;

“Forge Your Pantry Pizza”

This is a crust recipe my family has been using forever.  We got this from an old Canadian living magazine years ago and its served us so well.

Ingredients

      3 cups (750 mL) all purpose flour
      2 tsp (10 mL) quick-rising instant dry yeast
      1 tsp (5 mL) salt
      1-1/4 cups (300 mL) hot (120 F/50 C) water
    1 tbsp (15 mL) extra-virgin olive oil

Preparation:

In a bowl, combine 2-3/4 cups (675 mL) of the flour, yeast and salt. With wooden spoon, gradually stir in water and oil until ragged dough forms, using hands if necessary.

Turn out onto lightly floured surface; knead for about 8 minutes or until smooth and elastic, adding up to 1/4 cup (50 mL) more flour, 1 tbsp (15 mL) at a time, if necessary.

Place in greased bowl, turning to grease all over. Cover with plastic wrap; let rise in warm draft-free place until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour.

Once the crust has risen, I rolled it out into about 14 inch rounds.  I actually ended up doubling the recipe so I could make two different pizzas.  I oiled and floured my pizza pan, then added the dough.  I worked it with my hands and spread the dough out starting in the middle and building up towards the edges.  I tried to not make a huge crust on the pizza. I love it when the toppings and sauce go right to the end of the dough.

As I was waiting for my crust to rise, I had time to chop up my veggies.  I used cremini mushrooms, red and green pepper, spinach and black olives. I did cook most of the liquid out of my mushrooms just to make sure I didn’t end up with a soggy crust.  I had left over grilled chicken breasts from the night before that I had just chopped up and had ready for this pizza.  Cheese is one of my diet downfalls and I totally didn’t skimp out on these pizzas.

I used an alfredo sauce for this one.  Layered it with mushrooms and spinach.  I then added my chicken, red and green peppers and more cheese.  I sprinkled a few black olives and baked for 30 minutes.

This Pizza is identical to the first one, I just used  red sauce instead of an Alfredo sauce

I called this pizza “Forge Your Pizza Pantry” because I literally had no time to go shopping and prepare.  Luckily I have a pretty well stocked pantry.  My guests  gobbled this pizza up.  I literally grabbed a piece and it was gone.  I will definitely be making these pizzas again.

Tonight is actually Halloween night and My household has been crazy decorating and getting ready for the festivities  Living on an acreage doesn’t allow a lot of children to come out door to door, but for those who do it’s worth it.  Treat bags are filled with candy, pop, and a bag of chips.  We are totally the awesome house this year!


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Oct 24 2010
5 Comments
Project Tasteless

Project Tasteless – “Bangin’ Pancakes”

Rachel Wilkerson’s Project Tasteless competition has really got me excited.  I love to cook.  I love to get naked.  Of course we should combine the two.  At first I was a little nervous to post anything, but I decided if you can’t handle me in only an apron, you can’t handle me in anything.  After I decided to own it, I had to pick a recipe.  There are so many tasty options.  From lasagna to peach pies I had no idea what to choose.  What embodies getting naked, my love for banging, and tastes fantastic? Obviously it’s my Bangin’ Pancakes.  Countless times I have made these pancakes after a long, exhausting night.  Usually after me and my significant other have kept each other awake all night.  Now that I’m single, I make them and just enjoy all the memories they bring back.

Bangin’ Pancakes

1.5 cups all purpose flour

1 tbsp sugar

1 tbsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 egg

2 tbsp cooking oil

1.5 cups milk

1. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in a bowl

2. In a smaller bowl, beat your egg and then mix in milk and oil

3. Add egg mixture to dry ingredients and mix until there are a few small lumps. ( I added a bit more milk once I had mixed everything together)

4. Drop onto pan (or griddle) and let cook on one side until you can see bubbles and slight browning. Once bubbly, flip to brown other side.

5. Once golden, put on a plate and enjoy.

These pancakes are even tastier if you serve them naked.  There is nothing like the smile of wake up naked pancakes, and if you add bacon like I have it makes it even better. Hopefully you get to taste the pancakes while they are still warm.

 

Here is my apron shot… I know its not the best.  I never realized how difficult would be to take a naked apron, non pornstar-esque shot.  My hair is kind of haggard but I love it.   It was this or full frontal, so I will save you guys and just post this.  Very amateur. I love it anyway.

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