Luckily I have always been a fairly confident girl. Normally I am not the shy one in the room. I love to hear my own voice and enjoy having a crowd of people listening to me. This side of me has disappeared over the last month or two and I am going to give it my all to bring her back. The last month 5 weeks has completely thrown me for a loop and I have learned so much about myself.
When Eric and I decided to end things I really didn’t know what to think. From the time I was old enough I had always had a boyfriend. Someone I could count on and use as a sounding board. Facing life as a single girl seemed hard but after a few weeks of adjusting I am loving it. I do what I want, watch whatever movie I want and just go at my own pace. Not that Eric would of ever held me back, if anything he encouraged me to be myself and go for what I wanted. Just some part of me held myself back. I don’t know why but I just sort of lost who I was.
Joining the dating scene again has been interesting. I certainly seem to dwell on what I see as my own imperfections a lot more than I have previously. My ass is to jiggly or my belly is to round and for whatever reason I have had a hell of a time getting these thoughts out of my head. I used to think that if I wasn’t happy with myself then I had no right to ever think that someone else should be happy with me. I let that be the excuse for any date that didn’t work or any man who was a jerk but you know what, I am happy with myself. My waist may not be a size 6 and my ass bounces around more then most but that doesn’t take away for how great life is. I am smart, funny, educated and dedicated. I live to make people laugh and have a wonderful group of friends and family. I know what I am passionate about and I am not afraid to stand my ground and speak my mind. Any man who can’t handle that is missing out.
I believe self confidence is one of those things you can fake until you make it. I know I am on the right path and I just have to follow my gut and live my life to the fullest. The rest will just fall into place.
feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured : she was a confident, outgoing girl
I taught myself to be confident. It wasn’t easy. You may be wondering how one can teach themselves something like confidence. It took me a long time and a lot of bravado but I did it. Growing up I wasn’t so much confident as I was ballsy. I would dive head first into anything that was ahead of me. I was chubby. I had to believe in myself, no one else seemed to. Gaining confidence wasn’t a long process. More of a repetitive action that your body just remembers.
It is really as easy as that. If there was ever a situation that I was afraid of I just dove in head first. Entertaining a huge group of people. Say a pray and go for it. People like someone who can be themselves. What is the worst that can happen? I learned to be proud of who I was and over time I became proud of who I am. I have always been a people person which has definitely helped me in a lot of ways. There really has never been a time where I am afraid to talk to someone or make the first move. Faking confidence has actually made me a more confident people. So what if your not the hottest person in the crowd. Go out there and strut your stuff. Everyone has something they don’t feel confident about. You can’t let that hold you back. There could be way to many opportunities your missing out on. Just slap a smile on your face and go out there and dazzle people.
I remember when I first started going to the gym I felt like a total outcast. I was clumsy, I didn’t know the way the machines worked and everyone there seemed like such a pro. Rather than risk an injury or looking like a total dumbass I just asked for help. The lady at the front desk was really accommodating and showed the basics of the gym. I left there feeling great and the next time I went I had the confidence to hop on the machines and just go for it. You can’t let the fear of what people might be thinking about you stop you from doing what you love. Was I a total newb at the gym? Yes. Did I still manage to have a great workout and leave there feeling great? Yes.
Sometimes you just need to pretend you know how to rock the shit out of whatever your about to do, even if you are pretty sure your about to throw up at any given moment. Just go for what you want, and eventually you won’t have to think about it.
