I went to the gym! While the gym is not normally such a cause for celebration, dragging myself to go run a few laps feels like a victory. I have been holding myself more accountable and rather than make up another excuse to ditch the gym and indulge I laced up my sneakers. I always have such a fear of the gym. I get a little bit panicky when I think about having other people watch me work out. I realize that people could care less about what I’m doing/wearing but it’s something that’s always in the back of my mind. I know I notice the people around me but I never seem to actually form an opinion on them. It’s always the man jogging 3 feet in front of me or someone I’m using as a mile marker. Unless your slamming weights around or splashing my with sweat I really don’t care what you do at the gym.
The gym should be the place that you go work out all of your frustrations. You should be able to hop on a treadmill or swim a few laps and not be concerned with anything going on around you. I’m slowly getting to this place. I have a bad habit of comparing and competing with people around me. While competition is healthy, trying to work my body to a level that it isn’t ready for isn’t fair to myself. This month has really been about re-focusing on my personal goals and reevaluating what I want to do with my body. I have lost a total of 16 pounds this month and it feels fantastic! The weight is coming off in a healthy way and that makes me happy. It took a lot of effort to extinguish my inner critic and stay focused on eating healthy.
Everyday is a new day full of challenges and choices. When I over indulge or make a bad choice I need to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world. A rich dinner out with friends is not a reason to throw in the towel. Consistency has been a very slow lesson for me, and I fully intend to keep fighting until my healthy lifestyle comes naturally to me.
