We all want to bang. We all want to bang good looking, crazy free people.  In order to bag a good one you need something that sets you above everyone else.  Obviously being good looking, having money and huge tata’s never hurt.  If your lacking in any of these departments, pay attention.  Here is your “Project Tasteless” guide on “How to Get Stuffed”

“Getting Stuffed Like it’s Your Birthday”

A man likes meat.  Whether it’s something you’ve prepared or your actual meat, he will be all over it.  To bag that stud of your dreams you need to make meat, and a lot of it.  I want pork mixed with chicken, covered in pork. I always like to make something I can more or less have prepared.  When your focus is getting it in, you don’t necessarily want to be elbow deep in bread dough. Put your cutest shoes on, take the clothes off, throw on an apron and let’s get cooking.

Nothing impresses a man more than homemade bread.  This recipe is from Annie’s Eats

I made the dough for these about 2 hours before I expected anyone.  The dough rises for an hour and then you roll them into knots and cover in garlic butter.   It truly doesn’t get any better then this.

When trying to bang I like to make it as obvious as possible.  I am that guy.  Whether I am drunk at the bar or trying  to grab his ass you know what my intentions are. If I am seducing then I am trying to get stuffed.  To go along with my garlic knots, I’m making stuffed chicken and double baked potatoes.  This isn’t any normal stuffed chicken.  This is chicken stuffed with off the bone ham, mozza cheese and wrapped in bacon.  Any meat lover (aka MAN) will love this meal.  It only gets better by having a ham, bacon, and cheese stuffed potato.  I have to throw a little green onto the plate.  Fresh asparagus does the trick nicely.

“Porked Chicken”

This is glorious.

You need;

• chicken breasts
• 200 grams cut off the bone ham
• 1 cup of shredded mozza and cheddar
• half a pack of bacon (your choice as to what kind)

Preheat your oven to 350 Fahrenheit

Cut down the centre of the chicken breast, being careful not to go all the way through to the other side.  Once the centre is cut, slice two small slits horizontally left and right from the original cut. Continue to do this until all the chicken breast’s are done.  Mix your cheese and ham together in a bowl and then take a small handful and place inside each slit.  This will be messy. Once your chicken breasts are stuffed, take piece of bacon and wrap it around the outside of the chicken.  I used two pieces of bacon, you can’t be cheap when your trying to get it in.  It never works.  Place chicken breast’s in the oven until fully cooked, about 50 minutes.

“Tag Teamed Potatoes”

• 1 1/2 cups shredded cheese ( I use mozza and cheddar)
• 1/2 cup cooked crumbled bacon
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 2 tbsp melted butter
• 1 minced garlic clove

Every single person on this planet likes carbs.  Cheesey bacony potatoes are no exception to the rule.  When bringing someone over for dinner, I bake the potatoes before hand.  Put your washed potatoes in the oven on 350 degrees until fork tender.  Cooking them before saves a tonne of time and you don’t end up looking like a fool trying to handle hot potatoes.  Burnt fingers are never fun. Bake two extra potatoes for the Bangover breakfast the next day.   While the potatoes are cooling place 1 1/2 cups of cheese into a bowl, add any remaining ham left over from the stuffed chicken and then finish off by adding your crumbled bacon.  Cut the potatoes into halves and scoop out the cooked flesh.  Try and leave a thin layer of potato around the skin so you have a strong enough potato shell to stuff.  Once all of the potatoes are scooped out, mash in a bowl making sure to add the sour cream and butter.  When the potatoes are smooth mix in the bacon and cheese mixture, making sure it is thoroughly blended.  Re-stuff potatoes and bake on 350 until golden brown.  Just before you serve them put a pinch of cheese on top and set the pan under the broiler until said cheese is bubbly and delicious.

While everything is in the oven, indulge in a little dirty action.  If we have learned anything from Project Tasteless it is more than OK to cook naked.  Just try and keep your ass off the stove.  That is just plain old unnecessary.  Just before the chicken comes out of the oven boil your water for your asparagus.  Cook until al dente, and toss with butter ad lemon when strained.  This meal is a surefire way to get a hot piece of ass.   Make sure to save the extra potatoes, some bacon and cheese for the next morning.  Your going to need to make something that replenishes your energy.